We all have Mommy fear. It comes in different degrees. You worry about the food your kids eat, the amount of sleep they get, if they watch too much T.V. or not. Those are normal mundane fears. Then there are more serious fears, what if my child gets sick, or hurt or worse. We all have these thoughts, we just try not to have them at the forefront of out minds. And for those who do have to deal with a child with illnesses or other issues I can’t even imagine the strength it takes.
Lately though I’ve been bothered by a Mommy fear that is years away. What if my kids becomes one of “those kids” when they are older. The type of child who makes their parent sick with stress, the type that lies, cheats, steals, runs away, does drugs etc. I think this is on my mind a lot lately for a lot of reasons. Most of the rioters in the U.K last week were young kids, teenager, even some as young as 11 or 12. So that is part of it, you can’t help but wonder what those kids parents were thinking as they watched their children loot and riot on T.V.
I’m also thinking about it because I know a few kids in real life who, are sadly, either already those kids or becoming those kids. And I wonder what on earth happened. Was is something the parents did or didn’t do? Is it something in the child’s make-up? Both? I don’t know and that to me is the scary part. When exactly did these kids change? At one point they were all sweet innocent babies, smelling of baby powder and milk, full of potential. They were wide-eyed toddlers, exploring their worlds, chubby little cheeks being kissed as they were tucked into their beds at night. They were excited and frightened little kids on their first day of school, holding their parents hands and wearing backpacks that dwarfed their little bodies. they weren’t always surly, disengaged, trouble makers, they were somebody’s whole world. They were the apple of their parents eyes. And now…..now I can’t reconcile the sweet faces I once knew with the people they are now.
I know it’s not always the end when kids are like this, lives can be turned around, people can change, heck I know adults who were those kids, those troubled troublemakers, and now they are productive members of society. They will tell you though that the road from there to here wasn’t easy, it was full of pitholes and setbacks. But sadly I also know people who are still lost. They are still drinking, doing drugs and committing illegal acts. They were someones baby, somebody’s boo.
So I try the best I can, to teach compassion, to be the right mix of strict and soft place to fall. To be involved and to involve them in things. And I hope that, heaven forbid, if they do start to become “those kids” that I will see the signs early enough and will be able to help and to get them help. But in reality we can only control so much, and right now, that’s my big Mommy fear. And I’m trying to figure out how to deal with it.